


This is How I show My Love

by harlequin421



Series: Sail With Me into the Dark [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always a girl! Stiles, Angst, F/F, Genderswap, Pack Dynamics, alternate universe-canon, always a girl! derek, non/con triggers, rated r for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She can’t protect Stiles if she’s emotionally compromised. And she can’t give anyone ammunition against her, and that’s all Stiles will become. Ammunition against her. A weakness she can’t afford.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is How I show My Love

Derek bit Jackson because he wanted it. Because he was desperate for it. Because she has to start her own pack. Because she needs to be stronger. Because she knows what’s coming and she can’t stop it.

The lone wolf dies but the pack survives. It’s ingrained into her being. She knew from the moment that Laura died that if she stopped the Alpha that she was going to have to start a new pack. She had thought that she had a new pack already. With Stiles and Scott. But then Scott doesn’t want to speak to her after the whole killing Peter thing. And Stiles is willing, so willing. Derek can almost taste how willing she is, but she can’t. She can’t protect Stiles if she’s emotionally compromised. And she can’t give anyone ammunition against her, and that’s all Stiles will become. Ammunition against her. A weakness she can’t afford.

So she bites Jackson.

And then goes looking for other desperate teenagers who would consider the bite a gift.

She bites Isaac because he asks for it. Because he wants to be stronger. Because he doesn’t want to be the victim any more. Because he reminds her so much of her little brother. Not Derek. Johnny, who was human. Who always ran to her when she came home after school, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her neck and just breathed her in and said in his little voice, _I missed you._ Who looked at her with his blue, blue eyes and knew things that no one else knew because she couldn’t tell the others without them freaking out about it.

Isaac doesn’t hug her and buries his head in her neck. But he looks at her unblinkingly sometimes like if he knows what’s going on in her head and pats her on the shoulder awkwardly before going off to find Jackson.

Where Isaac is sort of afraid and sometimes won’t look her in the eyes out of respect, Jackson is cocky and downright disrespectful.

He seems to have gotten the thought in his head that just because she let him fuck her once means that it’s going to happen again.

She puts an end to that the day that Stiles found their hideout.

She knew how much she hurt Stiles. She always knows how much she hurts Stiles. It’s always enough to send her running, but never enough to make her stay away.

And Jackson seems to take it personally that she knows Big Mouth Stilinski, as he put, and never bothered to tell them about it.

Derek gives him a look, because there are plenty of things that she’s never bothered to tell them, like the real reason she turned them. Like that her uncle is buried under the floorboards of her childhood home. Like that she’s spent the last two months in the company of Stiles and Scott. Like that her sister died and that’s the only reason that she’s here.

The only thing about her that they know is that she’s the Alpha. And that’s enough because it’s the only thing that really matters right now.

So when he gets up in her space caging her against the wall with his forearms and demands that she tells him how she knows Stiles and why Stiles seems to think it’s okay to ask her about anything pertaining to werewolves, she wraps her hands around his wrists and crushes the bones making him cry out and sink down to his knees.

She smells the pain and the fear and she smiles feral, her eyes red and she growls, “If you ever do that again, I am going to rip you apart and then you won’t have to worry about how exactly I know Stiles.”

She throws him back and lifts up her foot and presses down on his neck, “And get another thing straight through your head, I may be a girl, and I may have let you fuck me once, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again. So stop acting like if I owe you anything, and come to terms with your place in this pack before I _make_ you come to terms with it.”

And she lets him go and stalks out.

She doesn’t realize that she’s going to check up on Stiles until she’s walking down her street and hears Stiles' laughter fill the air.

She looks and sees that she’s in front of Stiles’ house. The police cruiser is in the driveway right next to the blue Jeep. And Stiles is lying back on the roof pointing at the sky.

Derek climbs up the side of the house and lands lightly on the roof careful not to make too much noise. Not that Stiles seems to be having that same problem.

And then she notices the liquor bottle.

Derek closes her eyes and tries to rein in some of the anger, but all she can smell is Stiles and the alcohol and the hurt. And it all clouds her senses.

Before she knows what she’s doing she grabs Stiles and throws her into her room before leaping after her and shutting the window.

She turns around ready to yell and threaten and shake Stiles until she understands how fucking dangerous it is to drink on top of her roof, but Stiles is sprawled on the floor and the skirt she was wearing was hitched up high on her thighs and Derek could feel the arousal burning through her swift and quick.

“You didn lemme finish the bottle,” and she pouts and Derek has to look up at the ceiling to ask god why he’s doing this. Why she has to deal with this little girl who obviously doesn’t have a self-preservation gene!

She glares and tries to tell Stiles how fucking dangerous what she was doing was, and Stiles laughs, like if Derek just said the funniest thing that she’s ever heard, and then she lies back on the floor and looks up at the ceiling still laughing, “Like you’d care. It would probably be the highlight of your life so far. Stupid Stiles. Finally gone somewhere where she can’t bother me ever again.”

Derek snaps.

She grabs Stiles and pushes her into the wall gripping her arms tightly. Tight enough that Stiles cries out in pain but not hard enough to break like with Jackson, “Don’t you fucking dare tell me that again! I do care!”

More than she’s willing to admit.

And Stiles just looks at her, and her eyes are shinning with emotion, and her mouth is quirked strangely, “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

And Derek can’t anymore. She just can’t. She growls low in her throat and lets her wolf take over. Let’s herself push against Stiles and bite at her mouth until it’s open enough so that she can lick inside. Bites until the metallic taste of blood is on her tongue, and she whines with it and pushes closer. Sliding her leg between Stiles and Stiles rubs against her, and Derek purrs because she wants this. Because Stiles is giving her this. Because they both obviously want it. And if there is something that Derek is good at, it’s sex.

And then Stiles pulls away and moves her head so that Derek’s mouth is on her cheek, and she wants to slide her mouth down to her neck and feel her pulse on her tongue. But she knows that if she does that that she’s going to bite her, and not with human teeth, so she pulls back and Stiles looks at her, and Derek’s eyes can’t seem to pull away from where her mouth is red and swollen.

She licks her lips and smirks because she can taste the blood.

Then Stiles starts squirming to get away, and Derek feels confusion cool down the burning arousal, “Why are you trying to get away?” She breathes in a little and can smell the arousal rolling off of Stiles. “You’re enjoying it. And I can tell that you want it.”

And she smirks again, because it’s her fallback because she knows how to seduce. She knows what to do to have people begging for her on her knees.

And she should’ve known better than thinking that it would work on Stiles.

Her eyes harden.

“Just because I want it,” Stiles snaps tugging her arms away from Derek’s hold and pushing her back. Derek is so surprised that she actually lets her. And the next words out of her mouth feel like a slap to the face, “Doesn’t mean that I want to be just another notch on your bedpost.”

Derek flinches. She can’t help it. She steps back and feels something break. She feels her heart break. And she looks at Stiles because she can’t help it. She wants to reach out and tell her that that’s not it. That Derek doesn’t want that either. That she wants so much more than that. But she doesn’t.

She puts the mask back on and glares, growling out, “If I ever catch you drinking on top of your roof again, I am going to tear you limb from limb, got it?”

And she doesn’t wait for Stiles to say anything. She jumps out her window closing it and she’s running the second she hits the floor.

She doesn’t get away fast enough and she feels Stiles crying. And she throws her head back and howls before running through the woods and to her house.

\----

Unsurprisingly, Isaac and Jackson find her.

Jackson stays back and he looks murderous, but at the same time sorry. The way his eyes trail all over her and linger on her mouth, and the way his nostrils flare tells her that he can guess about what happened with Stiles.

Isaac on the other hand crawls right up next to her wrapping her in his arms and tucks her face into his throat, and she can’t help but cry.

She hasn’t cried in what seems like so long.

When Jackson comes up next to her wrapping his arms around both of them, she can’t help but flinch, and she smells the hurt, but he doesn’t back away. If anything he tugs harder until they’re both sprawled on top of him. She clenches her fist in his t-shirt and wraps an arm around Isaac and for the first time since Laura left their apartment in New York, she feels safe.

She doesn’t tell them about what happened with Stiles that night.

But she does tell them about Peter, and about Laura.

She doesn’t tell them about Kate or the fire. She can’t tell anyone about that.

But she does tell them about the Argents, and about Scott, and about how she spent the last two months, and how she knows Stiles.

She doesn’t tell them about the guys she’s been with it or the fact that she isn’t actually sexually attracted to men at all.

But she does tell them about Erica Reyes the girl who she’s thinking about biting next.

She sends them away, and tells them to go to school and to not bother Stiles or Scott. And they nod, Isaac more easily than Jackson.

And she knows that Jackson just might break the rules and bother Stiles but she can’t think about that right now.

She’s got another person she needs to seduce.

\----

She realizes that biting teenagers is a mistake when Erica wakes up after she bit her and jumps on her hitching her legs around her waist and making them crash into the wall before she bites down on her lip and kisses her.

Teenagers are hormonal. And teenaged werewolves even more so.

She really should’ve known better.

She grabs Erica around the backs of her knees and throws her to the ground.

Erica lands hard but she jumps back up and smirks, breathing heavily and licking at her mouth. She’s shaking and she looks at Derek her eyes golden and her mouth red, “The power. I can feel it running all over. It feels amazing. I just want...”

And she stands to her full height and raises her arms and stretches groaning, “Do you even know what it feels like? It’s like you’ve opened my eyes.”

She raises an eyebrow and stalks forward pressing Derek into the wall and Derek lets her believe that she has the upper hand. She wraps her hands around Derek’s throat and thumbs up and around her jaw, “It’s like I was blind, and now I finally see. Like if I was deaf and now I hear. Like if the whole world was dull and boring and now it’s bright and amazing. Like if I was deprived of sensations but now…”

She leans forward and rubs their cheeks together, “Now I feel.”

And she breathes all over Derek and Derek can sense her arousal, can feel it in the way that she pushes closer and all but starts humping Derek’s leg.

Derek pushes her back because she made that mistake with Jackson, and she’s not doing it again. Erica just groans like if any touch is enough and turns around laughing, “Do you know what it feels like to finally know that I won’t get an attack? It feels like such a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.”

She turns around and cocks her head looking at Derek from under her eyelashes, “I just want to thank you.”

Derek shakes her head, “Not like that.”

She turns around and then turns back, “But I do have an idea of how you can.”

Erica just smiles her eyes widening and glowing yellow before she licks her lips and purrs, “How?”

\----

She’s expecting Scott when he bursts into the warehouse and tries to catch her by surprise.

Expects him because of the way Stiles eyes went wide and hurt when Erica sashayed her way over to the Camaro and got inside smirking the whole while.

Expects it because she sensed the hurt coming from Stiles and she bets that Scott felt it too.

So she turns exactly when he’s going to jump on her and grabs him by his throat and throws him back.

Erica, Jackson and Isaac all stop what they’re doing to watch.

Scott growls and stands back up.

Derek steps back and smiles, “Why hello Scott. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Scott stalks towards her, “Stop this! I don’t care that you’re biting people left and right! But leave Stiles out of it! Don’t you think you’ve already hurt her enough?”

Derek shakes her head, “This isn’t about hurting Stiles.”

Scott growls, “Then what’s it about!”

Derek doesn’t say anything, but Scott’s eyes widen, “This is about me? If you think that I’m going to join you just to get you to stop hurting Stiles, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I’m not hurting Stiles to get to you!” Derek snaps and stalks over to him. “This isn’t about hurting Stiles at all. This is about you! You’re alone right now! Your pack consists of a hunter and a human whose only defense is that she can’t shut her mouth to save her life. And both of them are more weaknesses than actual assets. What are you going to do when they come and kidnap one of them? The huntress they’ll kill on the spot, and Stiles, they’ll torture for information to draw you out and then they’ll kill her right in front of you! And I can’t protect either of you if you won’t come under my protection!”

Scott looks at her in confusion, “What are you even talking about? Who are you talking about? Who is ‘them’?”

She feels her pack shift behind her and they’re wondering the same thing. She can feel their confusion buzzing in the back of her mind.

She takes a deep breath, “I’m a new Alpha. You know that.”

She looks at Scott and he nods.

“There are rules,” she says licking her lips. “You just don’t become Alpha. There is a counsel and they decide the fate of an Alpha, and I know they didn’t approve of Peter. And they will approve less of me. So they’ve sent out an Alpha pack to deal with the problem.”

Scott seems to slump down, “They’re coming after you.”

Derek nods, “Yes. And they won’t stop at me. They share the same views with hunters as to what to do with Omegas. And that’s what you are right now Scott. You’re an Omega in a pack with two humans. And they’ll dispose of them easily, and they’ll kill you. And they’ll come after us. And they’ll kill my pack in front of me, and then they’ll kill me.”

Scott shakes his head, “If they’re going to kill us all anyway, why do you need me to side with you?”

“You have potential to be a strong Beta. You’re already strong enough to beat me in a fair fight,” she smirks. “But I don’t fight fair. I need your help with them.”

She points at her Betas and feels the bristle of indignation coming from Jackson, “They need to learn control before I can teach them how to fight.”

Scott licks his lips, “You know that Stiles is the one that taught me how to control it, right?”

Derek nods her head, “I’m aware. How do you think she learned how?”

Scott glares, and then smirks, “You’re gonna have to be the one to ask her. If she says yes, then I’ll help. But if she says no, I’ll protect mine. Can you make the same promise to your own?”

Before Derek can say anything else, Scott turns around and leaves.

It takes two seconds after he’s gone for the rest of her Betas to start.

“Why didn’t you tell us about the Alpha pack?”

“What’s this about us _needing_ Scott to teach us control? I am in control.”

“They’re gonna kill us in front of you?”

“And what is this about you hurting Stiles?”

“Why can’t you teach us the same way you apparently taught _Stilinski_?”

“Why can’t you ask for help like a normal person?”

The last question was the one that got to her. She holds up her hand, “Enough!”

They all shut up and stare at her.

Erica looks suspicious, Jackson is growling, and Isaac looks concerned.

“I didn’t tell you because it’s not the most important thing right now. You can’t shift on command, so yes you need Scott. They’ll do the worst thing possible to make it impossible for me to fight them. What happens between me and Stiles is none of your business. I need to find one more Beta before our pack is complete so I can’t teach you. And I’m not a normal person.”

She takes a deep breath, “Is that all?”

They all nod.

“Good, now I need you guys to act completely normal, start hanging out with Boyd. I think he's going to be Beta number four.”

They nod again, and Derek dismisses them.

She grabs her jacket and slides it on before leaving.

\----

She jumps through Stiles' window and lands with a thud surprising the girl.

Stiles scrambles up on her bed and squeezes her thighs together, and Derek doesn’t need to take a breath to know what Stiles had been doing or about to do before she entered.

She smirks and takes and exaggerated sniff anyway, just to see Stiles blush. She smells the arousal heavy in the air, and the scent of sex and frustration.

Stiles clears her throat, “What do you want Derek?”

Derek just smiles, “Can’t I come to see my favorite human?”

Stiles licks her lips and crosses her arms across her chest and Derek’s eyes zero on the hand shaped bruises she has around her forearms.

Derek licked her lips and the spike of arousal makes her smile again.

Stiles just tightened her arms across her chest and crossed her legs under her sheets, “What do you want Derek?”

Derek sighed and sat down on the computer desk chair spinning around once and then looking at Stiles, “I need you to do me a favor.”

Stiles raised her eyebrow, “What kind of favor?”

“Your best friend is resisting even though he now knows what’s at stake. I need you to tell him that you want to help me train my Betas.”

Stiles snorts and rolls her eyes leaning back against the wall, “Yeah, right.”

Derek pushes the chair so that she’s closer to the bed, “Now, come on Stiles. You don’t know what’s at stake. Your lives are all in danger.”

Stiles sits up at that, “Why?”

Derek leans back in the chair, “There is an Alpha pack coming after me because they don’t want a new Alpha in Beacon Hills seeing Peter’s reign. So they’re going to kill me and my pack off. But they also don’t like Omegas, and Scotty is an Omega. And they’ll hurt him like they’ll hurt him by killing those closest to him.”

Derek looks at Stiles and leans close putting her hands on top of the bed, “And who’s closer to Scott than you. And seeing what you know, they won’t hesitate to kidnap you and then torture you.”

Stiles eyes are wide and she bites down on her bottom lip, and Derek yearns to push her down on top of the bed and kiss her like she did before.

“How much time do we have?”

Derek lets out a sigh of relief, “Three months. Give or take a couple of days. They’re gonna get here and then spend a few days observing and if they don’t like what they see then we’re all dead.”

“Why?” Stiles asks again furrowing her brow.

Derek shrugs, “Werewolf politics. I’m too young to be an Alpha. They gave us a break after the fire and Laura became an Alpha, but there were meetings, and Laura had promised not to bite anyone. But all of that changed because of Peter.”

Stiles makes a face, “Doesn’t that mean that you weren’t supposed to bite anyone?”

Derek makes a face back at her, “Peter already broke the rules. I wasn’t just going to sit around and wait for them to catch me unawares. The lone wolf dies but the pack survives.”

Stiles looks at her disbelieving, “Did you just quote something from A Game of Thrones at me?”

Derek rolls her eyes, “So you’re going to help?”

Stiles nods, “Of course. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want Scott to die. And I may not like you or your group of misfits, but that doesn’t mean I actually want you guys to die.”

Derek grins and pounces on the bed straddling Stiles and caging her against the wall.

“Oh I can tell how much you _don’t_ like me,” Derek whispers leaning in close. “Little Gemma.”

Stiles goes still and her whole body seems to freeze and Derek leans in close and nudges their noses together, “Does it scare you? How easily I could, if I wanted to? And I do want to. But I don’t want you to hate me.”

Stiles swallows, “Why are you doing this?”

Derek leans back, “Because it’s all I’m allowed to have.”

And then she jumps away from Stiles and backs away until she reaches the window, “Talk to Scott and come over after school. We’ve got work to do.”

And then she jumps out of the window and runs back home.


End file.
